blog
profile
links
tagboard
failure~
Friday, August 28, 12:05 PM

27th of August 2009....

It was 10.55 at night, I was chatting with my dad while he was eating.. All types of conversation we had, funny one, regarding studies, regarding his work, regarding my auntie who is getting married soon, regarding my phone bill, regarding my friends, regarding guys, basically everything until something I did not expect at all.. come out from his mouth in his speech...

" U kno ur lai gong is dead right?"
" Wat???!!! When????!!! wth????!!! "
" It was last year, u didn't kno? "
" Wth??!! Last year? How come I din go to his funeral? Y din u bring me to attend? "
" U didn't go? oo.. i think it was becuz its on chinese new year, that's y we din bring u"

By the time i realize, tears were slowly flowing down.. He is already gone for more than a year, n yet I only knew... I felt terrible & awful.. So what if its on CHINESE NEW YEAR.. He looked after me for so long when I was just a kid who barely know 'abc' but until now I have not really prayed him once...

" Why am I the last to know? "
" I am sorry "
" Dad, can u at least bring me once to lai ma's house just to pray him whenever u are free?"
" I will try.."

That's how I ended my convo with my dad that particular night.. Without noticing, I am already in my room with tears flowing down.. I prayed so hard that night, hopefully to see my lai gong, I wasn't afraid if he really appears because I know if i really see him.. He is no a ghost, he is a part of love beneath me.. I prayed so hard so I could dream of him.. and that night I had a great dream, Its all the past we spend together.. I can see that it had been such a long time becuz the me in my dream was small, young, n barely to know anyone except my lai gong & my lai ma


I MISS YOU
I LOVE YOU
n i m still crying when i thought of what a bad kid I am, I m sorry I was unable to pay u a final tribute..


p/s 'lai gong' & 'lai ma' is a hokkien language that means milk dad n milk mum if i am not mistaken..

Labels: , , , , ,